Tired

I am sorry, I like this one. It is rather brutal as it registers his disgust with a former lover (actually, having helped edit his memoir, more than one) where he ended up carrying the load for the frailties of others. He has said his mother once told him he never has had a girlfriend, just "projects": Damaged people needing something from him to help them back into the mainstream of life. He thinks that is a gross generalization, but I see a pattern.

Tired

I'm tired of the lies.
of being one of those guys
you can depend on
all the time.

tired of carrying shields
for frail faces in fields
they have no business in,
to begin with.

tired of the reins
and all the bloody stains
that pass onto me
so you seem less guilty.

tired of measuring loss
in the span of an albatross.
just tired. so tired.
through to the dry marrow's end.


William F. DeVault. all rights reserved.